Faith & Culture

The (Only) 3 Responses Christians Should Have For The Supreme Court Ruling on Gay Marriage

Two same-sex wedding cake topper figurines

Yesterday marked a historical day in the United States where the  U.S. Supreme Court made a landmark decision legalizing gay marriage nationwide. Just minutes after the decision, social media was flooded with millions of posts. My Facebook feed has never been so eclectic; Many Christians are expressing their frustrations and concerns and many other Christians are celebrating the news. If an Atheist looks at my feed, they would probably say something like “Christians are bipolar” or “You guys don’t even know what you believe in”; and I don’t blame them. After some thoughts, I believe those are the 3 right responses Christians should have:

First Response: Stop quoting Bible verses about how it’s wrong; It will only distance non-Christians from Jesus

Jesus didn’t quote the law of Moses to the woman caught in adultery, Zacchaeus, the Samaritan woman, and all the other “sinners” he encountered. That would have just made them feel more distant and rejected by him. Instead, he only focused on winning their hearts and having them rest assured that he doesn’t condemn them and that he has something greater for them than whatever they are holding on to.

If someone believes that they are born gay (even if you disagree) and they dream of being in a long-term committed relationship, your verses about how wrong it is does not offer hope; they only add burdens on them.

Jesus wants gays to lay down their burdens at his feet. When you use verses to show gays that they are wrong, you only add burdens on their backs that makes it almost impossible for them to come lay down their burdens at Jesus’ feet.

Christians are called to love people not laws.

The only time you see Jesus angry to a point where he was using scripture to correct others was when he was interacting with the pharisees. Why? Because the pharisees were the religious ones who put heavy burdens on “sinners” without loving them where they are or offering them hope that is tangible.

Second Response: Open up your heart; The U.S. Supreme Ruling will actually help break the hostility between Christians and non-Christians.

The hostility against Christianity in the U.S. has dramatically increased in just the last few years. Gay Marriage has been the frontline issue; Many homosexuals feel that it’s Christians that are stopping them from getting married to the ones they love. However, this will change now; No one is stopping anyone from getting married.

As a kid, have you ever been angry at your parents for not letting you do something like buying a toy or staying up late or watching TV a little bit longer, that in your anger, you weren’t even listening to what they were saying? In a sense, Christians have done that to gays. They stood against something that hindered them to pursue marriage.

Now, the “elephant in the room” is gone and Christians and gays can finally start discussing a topic that is more important than the law: The Heart.

Response 3: Christians who support gay marriage need to be sensitive with what they say because it can bring damage to other Christians who choose a heterosexual lifestyle.

As mentioned above, One side of Christians are vocally against gay marriage in a way that doesn’t reflect Jesus’ love and that make them look like hypocrites.

However, Christians who are publicly supporting and celebrating gay marriage are also coming across like hypocrites because the Bible is pretty clear on the issue. But in addition of looking like hypocrites, they are hurting many other Christians that they love without realizing it.

Let me explain, I have a friend who is attracted to the same-sex but that friend personally believes that his struggle is due to childhood abuse and brokenness. He is convinced that God’s plan for him is to live as a heterosexual and to fall in love with a woman and get married. He recently told me that Christians have caused him a lot of pain in the process. I assumed he was talking about those who shove bible verses without having compassion; but, to my shock, he explained that the ones that are causing hurt are Christians who support gay marriage. He explained that many of those Christians are not really familiar with his story and many other guys like him who are choosing a heterosexual lifestyle. That causes pain because it makes him feel that he can’t get the support he needs for walking out a heterosexual lifestyle from other Christians. The statement those Christians are saying is the same one he gets from the world everyday “You can’t change. You need to quit the dream of being married to a woman.”

If you are a Christian that supports gay marriage for the sake of equality for all but do not believe it is Biblical, you should clarify that in your language. If you are a Christian that supports gay marriage even for Christians, make sure you reconcile your emotional/personal convictions with the Bible and have clear answers to how they are reconciled. Otherwise, your support may cause pain, confusion, and discouragement to those Christians who are pursuing heterosexual lifestyle despite of their homosexual attraction (especially the ones that are already married).

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  • Ruth Dec 1,2015 at 4:09 pm

    Christians who say to be fair to those who want to marry someone of the same sex, we need to allow them to marry–I’ve heard them justify it by saying God’s Word applies only to the Church, not to non-Christians. In other words, live and let live. Well, certainly God gives individuals as well as societies the freedom to line up on the side that is against His Word. He will not prevent them.

    But doesn’t the Word say: “Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to BRING us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. (Gal 3:24)

    Isn’t God’s Word (law) quite often offensive? Before we were believers, were we not offended until God’s Word finally brought us to the point of repentance? It’s the Holy Spirit who convicts a person of sin (not us), but we as believers need to speak the truth of God’s Word in love (as it is written, not as made up in our imaginations).

    By the way, God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah even before the law was given to Israel. That would mean His judgment was applicable to all.

    • Johnny Youssef Dec 1,2015 at 4:47 pm

      I must disagree with you here. The God of Christianity never wants to force his law on people and he never wants his followers to do the same. That what makes our faith beautiful. From the beginning of time, God put a tree in the Garden of Eden to give everyone a free choice. Would our mistakes or sin have consequences? Absolutely. But, our job is not to control people from sinning…It’s to share the light and have their own free will to choose to follow that light. God almost didn’t destroy Sodom and Gomorrah if there were enough believers in it. So, the point is, his judgement can be withed if his people fast and pray NOT if his people control the level of sin in their town.

  • Laura Williamson Aug 25,2015 at 8:21 pm

    Thank you for writing this article. I wanted to graciously challenge point number 1. Truly, Jesus did not rebuke the Pharisees because they quoted the Law or Scriptures. Jesus quoted the law and the scriptures constantly and even encouraged others to listen to what the Pharisees taught (but not to be like them in their heart). Quoting God’s Words with love is always a good thing to do. For the woman caught in adultery, she already knew the law in that situation—Jesus didn’t need to cite it. However, I believe our culture needs a bit more clarity on what “sin” is, and therefore, we need more preaching to articulate our love and God’s love for people.

    Point number 2, God’s word never encourages us not to cite the scriptures in a given situation. In fact, Jesus encourages us to do just the opposite (Mark 16:15). So we know that it’s not quoting the Bible that’s wrong, but truly quoting it from a hateful heart is wrong (1 cor. 13:1).

    • Maria St. John Sep 11,2015 at 6:50 pm

      Thank you Laura for those points. I agree that we need to speak the truth in love. It can cause hurt feelings at times but it also gives people a chance to see the truth without getting a mixed message.

    • Franklyn Anyadike Sep 16,2015 at 6:44 am

      Well said Laura. God’s word should never be, and can never be diluted. The bible states that it is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit…. Heb 4:12(NKJV).
      I will advice Johnny to not be philosophical about sin and the way people live cos that’s not the way they’ll be saved.
      of course leading a person to the cross of Jesus Christ must be done in love, not in condemnation by hating the sin and not the sinner.
      This is what Christ did for Magdalene, Zaccheus, Nichodemus, Paul. He addressed the sin in love.
      The people must know what God’s word says concerning sin and any issue.
      From Nigeria…..

  • Jenn Fortner Jun 30,2015 at 2:54 pm

    well said johnny. glad I found your blog. miss you friend.

  • Addison Price Jun 29,2015 at 10:33 am

    Johnny I have to say THANK YOU for expressing these thoughts and suggestions as we a nation / church change some of our basic principles. As I represent a large church here in KC and a believer this totally helps me form a more approtiate language when dealing with this topic… Way to keep seeking on how we can focus on peoples heart and LOVE – agape!

  • Joon Jun 28,2015 at 5:35 pm

    “If you are a Christian that supports gay marriage for the sake of equality for all but do not believe it is Biblical, you should clarify that in your language.” Could you possibly expound on this intriguing statement a bit more?

    • Johnny Youssef Jun 28,2015 at 11:52 pm

      Absolutely! There are many Christians who do not personally believe that a homosexual relationship is right/Biblical. However, they still think that for those who choose to embrace a homosexual relationship, they should have the right to be legally married. My point is, for those who are in that position, they should be clear in their language with other Christians because it can cause confusion otherwise. Hope this explains my points.

  • Jordan Jun 27,2015 at 4:50 pm

    Great post but in truth you never really answered your title of the blog! More like 2 ways how not to respond and the other to open up your heart.

    • Johnny Youssef Jun 27,2015 at 5:15 pm

      Sometimes, staying quiet is the best response we can have.

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