Yesterday marked a historical day in the United States where the U.S. Supreme Court made a landmark decision legalizing gay marriage nationwide. Just minutes after the decision, social media was flooded with millions of posts. My Facebook feed has never been so eclectic; Many Christians are expressing their frustrations and concerns and many other Christians are celebrating the news. If an Atheist looks at my feed, they would probably say something like “Christians are bipolar” or “You guys don’t even know what you believe in”; and I don’t blame them. After some thoughts, I believe those are the 3 right responses Christians should have:
First Response: Stop quoting Bible verses about how it’s wrong; It will only distance non-Christians from Jesus
Jesus didn’t quote the law of Moses to the woman caught in adultery, Zacchaeus, the Samaritan woman, and all the other “sinners” he encountered. That would have just made them feel more distant and rejected by him. Instead, he only focused on winning their hearts and having them rest assured that he doesn’t condemn them and that he has something greater for them than whatever they are holding on to.
If someone believes that they are born gay (even if you disagree) and they dream of being in a long-term committed relationship, your verses about how wrong it is does not offer hope; they only add burdens on them.
Jesus wants gays to lay down their burdens at his feet. When you use verses to show gays that they are wrong, you only add burdens on their backs that makes it almost impossible for them to come lay down their burdens at Jesus’ feet.
Christians are called to love people not laws.
The only time you see Jesus angry to a point where he was using scripture to correct others was when he was interacting with the pharisees. Why? Because the pharisees were the religious ones who put heavy burdens on “sinners” without loving them where they are or offering them hope that is tangible.
Second Response: Open up your heart; The U.S. Supreme Ruling will actually help break the hostility between Christians and non-Christians.
The hostility against Christianity in the U.S. has dramatically increased in just the last few years. Gay Marriage has been the frontline issue; Many homosexuals feel that it’s Christians that are stopping them from getting married to the ones they love. However, this will change now; No one is stopping anyone from getting married.
As a kid, have you ever been angry at your parents for not letting you do something like buying a toy or staying up late or watching TV a little bit longer, that in your anger, you weren’t even listening to what they were saying? In a sense, Christians have done that to gays. They stood against something that hindered them to pursue marriage.
Now, the “elephant in the room” is gone and Christians and gays can finally start discussing a topic that is more important than the law: The Heart.
Response 3: Christians who support gay marriage need to be sensitive with what they say because it can bring damage to other Christians who choose a heterosexual lifestyle.
As mentioned above, One side of Christians are vocally against gay marriage in a way that doesn’t reflect Jesus’ love and that make them look like hypocrites.
However, Christians who are publicly supporting and celebrating gay marriage are also coming across like hypocrites because the Bible is pretty clear on the issue. But in addition of looking like hypocrites, they are hurting many other Christians that they love without realizing it.
Let me explain, I have a friend who is attracted to the same-sex but that friend personally believes that his struggle is due to childhood abuse and brokenness. He is convinced that God’s plan for him is to live as a heterosexual and to fall in love with a woman and get married. He recently told me that Christians have caused him a lot of pain in the process. I assumed he was talking about those who shove bible verses without having compassion; but, to my shock, he explained that the ones that are causing hurt are Christians who support gay marriage. He explained that many of those Christians are not really familiar with his story and many other guys like him who are choosing a heterosexual lifestyle. That causes pain because it makes him feel that he can’t get the support he needs for walking out a heterosexual lifestyle from other Christians. The statement those Christians are saying is the same one he gets from the world everyday “You can’t change. You need to quit the dream of being married to a woman.”
If you are a Christian that supports gay marriage for the sake of equality for all but do not believe it is Biblical, you should clarify that in your language. If you are a Christian that supports gay marriage even for Christians, make sure you reconcile your emotional/personal convictions with the Bible and have clear answers to how they are reconciled. Otherwise, your support may cause pain, confusion, and discouragement to those Christians who are pursuing heterosexual lifestyle despite of their homosexual attraction (especially the ones that are already married).