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10 Ways To Win A Girl’s Heart

how to win a girl's heart
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Recently, I interviewed author and blogger Kris Wolfe. Below you will find the article he wrote that gained a lot of media attention and led him to publish a book. In addition, You will find my full interview with him.

Written By: Kris Wolfe

How The Average Guy Can Get The Beauty Queen

“Disclaimer: This is not intended for the guy who wants a one-night stand. There are books like “The Game” and “The Players Handbook” which can give you great techniques to hook up and end up with an empty life and a roster of regrets. If you want the most beautiful girl in the world on the outside and inside, a girl you would be proud to show off to all of your friends AND family, and a girl to build the foundation of a full life together, then “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart” is for you.

I can’t believe it. In a few weeks I will be marrying my dream girl. She’s the type of woman who blew all of my expectations and checklists out of the water. I look down at her in my arms, and I know I’ve found the treasure of a lifetime. She’s so delicate both physically and emotionally. It’s like I’m holding the rarest piece of artwork in the world. I want to treat her gently, speak loving words, and plant kisses all over her sweet smelling skin. I can’t help but think, “How did you, Kris, get the most precious jewel in the world????” After all, she’s much more than a beautiful creature to stare at. She’s intelligent, well-spoken, athletic, care-free, and creative. She’s like a fairy tale princess. She was Miss USA!!!

The other night, we’re on a hike, and as we get to the top, we encounter the most beautiful view. It’s literally all the colors Kristen picked out for our wedding, and she’s in awe. I am caught in between the most beautiful woman and the most beautiful sunset God has created. I’m talking to her about this article idea. After all, I want this content to be the turning point for the good guys out there. I’m all about the underdog coming back for the win, and it just seems the good guy ends up being the one who loses to these generic techniques some greasy dude fine tunes from using over and over again. So, I asked her what things I did to win her over.

Are you ready to win your dream girl?  Here are 10 ways to win a girl’s heart:

1. Be Pursuant
Pursue her without the pressure. In other words, don’t try to “front” and be cocky. Have a conversation first and show her you are interested beyond her appearance. You don’t have to come up with some crazy pickup line. You can simply say, “I want to introduce myself…”Be sincere and genuine in wanting to get to know her. I see too many good guys get intimidated by a girl’s beauty up front, but take a closer look, and find her true self. Honestly, if you can get past this, you’ll have a leg up on the other idiots out there. After all, being genuine is where you excel the most. This is why you are the good guy!!

2. Be a Gentleman
Girls don’t want to be treated like a queen, but they do want to be treated like a princess. She doesn’t want you to be a doormat, she wants you to be the one in charge. Open every door for her, especially the car door. Pull out her chair and allow her to sit down first when you take her on a date, and let her order first. When you are walking alongside the street, you should be the one walking closest to the street. Being a gentleman is being selfless.

3. Be Complimentary
On our first date, I told her “You look so beautiful.” I then told her how great she looked when I saw her without makeup the night before. It was real and sincere. While she later revealed to me that she had been testing me to see if I would still like her without makeup, I simply saw a girl who didn’t have enough time because she just got done at the gym. That was incredibly sexy to me.

4. Be Creative
You don’t have to blow your bank account to impress her. Think outside the box. I’ve been watching one of my good buds Danny pursue his girl right. [Update: Danny Booko is now engaged to Nia, the current Miss USA 2014.] He took her on a hike in Malibu, CA to waterfalls and then took her to this place called M Café complete with swans. He’s also taken her to the Getty museum and the zoo, which are free. Another idea is to take her to a place like Color Me Mine, where you paint your own pottery. Putting thought and originality into a date lets her know you really care about showing her the best in life and it allows you to experience each other across various situations.

5. Be Intentional
Invite her to parties, events, and game nights with your friends. I called Kristen every day when I finally got her number.  I sent her encouraging text messages and inspirational Bible verses. I told her I wanted to be her man on our fifth date.  She wasn’t ready, but she knew what I wanted. I gave her the time she needed with no stipulations, while still pursuing her intentionally. She told me she loved that.

6. Speak Well Of Her In Front Of Other People
Hold her hand. Pick-up artists recommend saying backhanded compliments, but nothing beats a genuine and sincere compliment. A backhanded compliment might work for a one-night stand, but come on, this is a poisonous ingredient in trying to form a long-term relationship. Treat her just as kindly in front of friends and family as you do when you are alone.

7. Be Attentive
Show her that you care for her and her needs. Pay attention to the small details. Girls care about the small stuff, big time. For instance, on our first date, I knew Kristen was a vegetarian, so I took her to a vegetarian restaurant called Café Gratitude. Listen to what she has to say.

8. Be Protective
Don’t let her walk alone to her car. If she’s going on a jog or walk at night, tell her you want to go to keep her safe. If she’s going to the gas station at night, go with her. If you’re at a club and she needs to go to the restroom, take her there and wait outside the door.

9. Be A Good Listener
Ask solid open-ended questions that include “what,” “how,” and “why.” If you’re doing most of the talking, you’re not getting very far with her. Show her you care with body language and by repeating back some of what she just told you.

10. Be Romantic
Plan ahead. What do you want your love story to be? You are the writer. When people ask where your first kiss was, you don’t want her to answer with the driveway or that you were drunk at a party. The night I kissed Kristen for the first time, I wanted it to be special. I took her to an overlook on Mulholland Drive. We stood on top of the city, and that night I was her very own Superman. It was a special moment and I ended up proposing to her there.

Finally, Be Yourself. There won’t be much longevity if she’s fallen for a false persona, and why would you want that anyway?  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not the coolest guy out there, so I have fun in my dorkiness. There is no one else like you, so be confident. When you are walking in truth, game isn’t necessary.  You’ve already won.”

Full Interview With Kris Wolfe on the above article, influence, and his new book:

 

Visit: GoodGuySwag.com for more articles written by Kris Wolfe.

– Johnny Youssef

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6 Comments
  • Brian Mar 21,2016 at 10:55 pm

    So … I want to be respectful here, but this article bothers me and feels like it’s something from a Christian pick-up artist handbook.

    I feel like you’re saying “do this and you can get this awesome prize!” Is that how we should be thinking about relationships with our Christian sisters?

    • Johnny Youssef Mar 21,2016 at 11:25 pm

      Brian, though I am not the writer of the article, I am not sure if you actually read it; it states that the goal of the writing is NOT to use it as a pick-up handbook. Nothing about the writing is pointing to manipulation or seductions…It’s ways that can help win a woman’s trust and therefore open her heart. Again, I am not the writer and I have no issues with people disagreeing but I honestly don’t think you read it because your comment doesn’t apply.

      • Brian Mar 22,2016 at 11:48 am

        My apologies; I did read the article, but I must have somehow skipped over the disclaimer at the beginning.

        Still, a PUA article could be entitled “10 Ways to Get in a Girl’s Pants” and list the SAME 10 POINTS as this article. What’s the difference? Is the end goal? Marriage vs. a hook-up? That can’t be it — someone could follow a player’s handbook and once he got his beautiful girl, he could choose to marry her instead of just hook up. Would that make it right?

        Again, I mean no disrespect toward anyone here, but aren’t “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart” and “10 Ways to Get in Her Pants” each a variation of “How to Get Something You Really Want By Doing X?” How does this not objectify women? Isn’t it the same as saying “10 Ways to Win Your Dream Sports Car?”

  • Michelle Hester Mar 8,2016 at 12:34 pm

    Definately good and accurate basic pointers written by Kris. I enjoyed the depth of the interview, how he emphasizes the kind of Man he needed to become, and pursued that as part of being who he needed to be to win his dream girl. Many people are more focused on what the a person can give them in a relationship instead of being focosed on what they can give. I appreciate that there are men like him out there and the message he is giving men, even in how to gain confidence to pursue.
    Of course women must do equal preparation in becoming all God has called them to be as a woman and a partner:)
    Enjoyable blog interview, Johnny!

  • Jenn Sarver Mar 7,2016 at 11:12 pm

    I agree with the points the author makes about how to get the girl, but the end game is still a little off. I mean what happens for those of us who aren’t Miss USA or “delicate” or average with no makeup post workout? Are we just the sloppy seconds? Are we any guy’s dream? I think the point is find a woman who complements you as a person and when you do, work really hard to show her how much you love her every single day. Why? Because that’s what a woman does when looking for someone to share life with. She finds a man who complements her and then she works really hard every single day to let her man know how much she loves him. Outer beauty fades and even the most internally beautiful people crack under life’s pressures and bleed ugly. So, is there someone out there who will be faithful, loving, and encouraging in every way you deeply desire? If so, run after her with all your heart and no matter what, don’t give up.

    • Johnny Youssef Mar 8,2016 at 3:54 am

      Jenn! Thank you so much and I love your input. I agree with you 100%. I would say that Kris writing is encouraging because he is saying that one doesn’t have to be “physically perfect” to win someone that society would say is “out of his league” when he shared the story of being super skinny with acne. I think the opposite is true, a girl doesn’t have to be a “perfect model” to win a guy’s heart. I love the input you put because I think it’s all about complimenting and finding a good person to run with. Only thing I disagree with you on is that you said “Are we just sloppy seconds?”….I don’t think that’s a question to even consider! You are beautiful and whoever will marry you will be a blessed man!

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